My Diari

God knows it’s already hard enough for a woman to get a serious man to marry her. I doubt that your current motivation for finding a nice husband will lead you down the path of marriage or even true love, but I try to give my advice.

Here it’s :

1. Play the probability game. According the studies quoted in relationship, the prime “commitment age “ for a man is between 28 and 33. If he’s been to grad school, give him to up age 36.From age 37 up, a divorced man is more likely to be open to marriage than a bachelor the same age. If his friends and siblings are already married, he’s more likely to marry too.
2. Ask yourself , what have you got to offer? “Fun“ and “Forever” are two different things. When a man’s looking for fun, almost any woman will do. Most guys will probably admit to having dated a woman they thought was psychotic, stupid, or just not right, for longer intended- just because she was “fun”.

Men who’re wife-hunting want a woman they’ll be proud to introduce to their mum, their buddies, their boss-in other words, a true lady. That’s why you hear of cases where guy picks up girl in a bar, dates her for years, suddenly dumps her. And six months later weds someone the total opposite of her.

If your target a man is some bigshot , a pleasant looking, intelligent, well-brought up and refined wife enchances his professional image, lending him an air of respectability. Your’s just not the right pedigree. So don’t waste your time chasing them, they might drag you to bed, but not down the aisle.

3. Start reinventing yourself, it’s been most men only start to consider marriage after they get tired of the singles scene. Which explains why you decade of bar-hopping hasn’t got you anywhere close to holy matrimory. Time for you rethink your hunting grounds, and explore new places to meet guys who’re looking for more than drink and a shag.
4. Stop treating him like ATM, many woman see nothing wrong in asking people they’ve barely met five minutes ago how much rent they pay, what they earn, and what their car/holiday/watch costs. But most man consider such financial discussions off-putting, so much so that is may be the first and last conversation they’ll ever have with you.
5. Spot the duds. Some really obvious signs that you’re just wasting your time :

·        You’re usually the one calling him

·        He only calls you for sex or because he’s bored

·        He says he’s not looking for a serious relationship

·        He’s still having sex with other girls

·        He has many, many plans that don’t include you

6. Face the Facts. Men often marry women whose backgrounds-religion, politics, values, socio-economic status-match their. Failing which, it might help if you are a dazzling beauty or a famous artist/singer/dancer. Since all you seem to be looking for are the superficial trappings of a USA lifestyle, you’ll probably end up with a shallow creep. I hope for your sake that when the first blush of your youth is gone, and your boobs start heading south, he’ll still stick around. Especially when there are bound to be other girls like this waiting in the wings.

What has been bothering me so such is the concept of "forgive and forget". It sounds like a decent idea ..got from my dar status in YM but is it viable and does it carry any implications?

The most obvious flaw in Forgive and Forget (FAF from here on…) is as much an historical axiom as the phrase it helps us dissect: Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. Using this line of reasoning, it would seem that forgiving is just fine but forgetting leads us into trouble.
An analogy. If some one gives you an apple that they know has a worm in it and you eat it without inspecting the apple, you would be mighty unhappy with the apple. Next time that same person gives you an apple, you will inspect it. Forgiveness has occurred, but not forgetfulness and there by both parties come out ahead.

Opponents of my dissecting will say that forgiveness cannot truly occur unless that transgression is forgotten as well. I would say that forgetting the incident would only make you a sucker twice. Some of this I would say lies in intent. One can easily forgive incidents that have no harmful intent behind them. In the case of the apple one might instantly forgive the person who gave you the apple if you understood that that person didn’t know the apple had a worm in it. The incident is not forgotten ("Hey, dude, remember when you gave me that wormy apple! Nasty!") but it is totally forgiven.

I think that "forgetting" part seems a little strange. You cannot work to forget something. One has to let it slowly pass from your mind by thinking or doing other things that put distance on the incident in question. I think it would be possible to forgive a transgression up to a certain degree and then it will eventually fade due to the diminutive stature of the incident. Large and overtly harmful transgressions are much harder to forget for a reason. They hurt and you do not want to go through similar experiences again. That basic desire to avoid pain is why FAF is not a good idea on the whole.

This leads us to the concept of what degree to forgive since I have stated that forgetfulness will best and most naturally occur for incidents of unintentional harm or of such a small hurt that they can be easily overlooked. Forgiveness is a personal matter. Some things that may seem almost unforgivable for some may be little more than a bump in the road to others. I believe that forgiveness should be practiced more liberally than forgetfulness.
Forgiveness is one of the main threads that make up the fiber of Community. If we were to stay angry at all the little paper cut wrongs that happen to us each day we would all be slugging it out the first shot we got. Why get angry about dim bulb customers? It does not solve the problem. Why get mad that someone passed you on the left? Maybe you should move over. It can be argued that this anger can lead to good things but I believe that to be a rare case. I believe than in most examples such anger only leads to frustration that gets passed along to other people. In order to get along in this overly taxing urban environment we have trapped ourselves in it is a matter of survival that we forgive small trespasses. Road Rage is a good example of lack of forgiveness.

To sum up I think FAF is not a viable idea. I think each half of the equation can be practiced to some degree (forgiveness to a higher degree in general) but to practice both all the time opens up the door to being mistreated and that not practicing both with moderation leads to a disintegration of Community.

Reality is real and unreality is nonexistent.

"Reality pertains to that which is possible and, ‘greatest possibilities of life’, reality may be construed as the limitations imposed upon one’s own existential potential on the basis of one’s own everchanging past. One’s life potential contains a measure, ultimately provided by death, which cannot be known entirely beforehand, but which possesses binding limitations, and these curtail the possibilities, making them into concretized experiences; our futurity bleeds into the present and upon our past, thrusting upon us the realities of our existence. Here the phenomena of a ‘harsh’ reality exposes us to these limitations in which something of what we hoped to be possible appears impossible, for the limitations we encounter, past or present, exceed what we had expected, or the facilities we hoped for fail to appear. Thus, in phenomenological terms, reality might best be construed as the limitations imposed upon our possibilities with the possibilities themselves, taken together."

Truth

When two or more individuals agree upon the interpretation and experience of a particular event, a consensus about an event and its experience begins to be formed. This being common to a few individuals or a larger group, then becomes the ‘truth’ as seen and agreed upon by a certain set of people. Thus one particular group may have a certain set of agreed truths, while another group might have a different set of truths that have reached consensus. This lets different communities and societies have varied and extremely different notions of reality and truth of the external world. The religion and beliefs of people or communities are a fine example of this level of reality. "It takes two to speak the truth — one to speak and another to hear." However, humans are fallible and are limited to individual experience. Truth cannot simply be considered truth if one speaks and another hears because individual bias and fallibility take away any assertion that the idea of truth, itself, exists.

Fact

A fact or factual entity is a phenomenon that is perceived as an elemental principle. It is rarely one that could be subject to personal interpretation. Instead it is most often the observed phenomena of the natural world. The proposition ‘the sun rises in the east’, is a fact. It is a fact for people belonging to any group or nationality regardless of which language they speak or which part of the hemisphere they come from. The Galilean proposition in support of the Copernican theory, that the sun is the centre of the solar system is one that states the fact of the natural world. However during his lifetime Galileo was ridiculed for that factual proposition, because far too few people had a consensus about it in order to accept it as a truth. Fewer propositions are factual in content in the world, as compared to the many truths shared by various communities, which are also fewer to the innumerable individual phenomenological realities.

Any comments..?????

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing herselfthings do not change. Change is the law of life n those who look only to the past pr present are certian to miss the future.

Be not angry that you cannot make others as u wish them to be since you cannot make ur self as u wish to be.To succeed it is necessary to accept the world as it is and rise above it.

hehehehe rite???? hu ha hu ha hu ha….